You're a mean one

"I'm done being nice to you."
Emma: you're not going to be nice anymore?
"Nope,  I'm going to be mean, like the grinch."
Emma: well, don't steal Christmas!

Wagging my eyes

Me: why are you arguing with me right now?

Emma: I'm NOT wagging my eyes!

Me: I didn't say wagging your eyes...

Emma: well, I don't know what arguing is!

Angry Emma

She stacked a bunch of pillowpets on the couch and was launching into them.

Me: honey we don't play on the couch like that.
Me: honey stop jumping on the couch.
Emma: but daddy, I'm an angry bird.

Knife!

As I was putting dishes away, Emma runs away yelling, "knife! Knife! Are you going to cut me?  I'm an apple!"

Blindness

Mommy: do you know what blind is?
Emma: no
Mommy: blind is when you can't see anything.
Emma: like this? (closes eyes)
Mommy: well, blind people can't see anything even after they open their eyes.
Emma: like daddy!

Close, but no...

She's catching on...

Emma: "Mommy, where do babies come from?"
Mommy: "We'll talk about it a little later honey."
......One hour passes.............
Emma: "Mommy, it's later now. Do you still not want to tell me?"

Adult Cereal

Me: What kind of cereal do you want?

Emma: porn cops.